I am a widow……a new widow. That’s me!
I feel that writing, regardless of how grammatically wrong, spelling included, is incredibly therapeutic. I write as I think.
My husband died at the age of 63, with so much life left to live, from kidney cancer. He was diagnosed back in July of 2010. We knew it was not curable but hopefully treatable for a good number of years with all the new medications that had come out….but we knew a day would come that those meds may no longer work.
Over the years I became a Caregiver, which really means a supportive spouse. I become obsessed with researching his disease, finding ways to deal with the side effects of the cancer, side effects from the treatments, anything and everything that would make life better for him, for us! I wanted him so badly to feel good, at least better and did everything in my power to make it so. I tried hard to keep our life as normal as possible but soon discovered that we had a new normal, or as time went on, newer normals……
We took one day at a time, one step at a time….what more could we do. I had, I thought, prepared myself for THAT day. I really thought I was prepared, but nothing, absolutely nothing can prepare you for THAT day.
I hope this blog of my feelings and emotions can help someone along the way dealing with this. Grief is such an individual thing….everyone deals with it differently, in the best way they can. There is no right way and no wrong way.
How long will I blog? I don’t know. Perhaps I’ll continue to blog for a long time and a time will come when the pain gets better and the sadness disappears and there is a new normal for just ME.