Except for going to the gym this morning.
I’ve got a lot to do around the house because I’ve been out so much….no time for housework!! And believe me, it’s starting to look very obvious…..even with the cleaning lady….I can undo all her work in no time flat!!
I was sitting and pondering life this morning with my coffee. My life….my new life, my new normal. I wonder if I’m there yet?
Would I be doing all the things I’m doing if there were Ken and me? Would we have bought bikes? Would we have gone out and joined a baseball team? I’m pretty sure we would have been traveling but you can’t do that ALL the time. We would have definitely been golfing.
That first year was such a roller coaster, sometimes you really don’t think you’ll survive….just so much change, so much responsibility when there is only you. All the decisions that you have to make on your own. But that rule….I read it somewhere….of not making any major decisions the first year is a good one….because you really don’t know what direction you’re heading and simple decisions, like having to buy a new BBQ, can be overwhelming so I couldn’t imagine having to make any major ones.
I waited that year before retiring. Work and life was just so stressful for those “sick” years. I don’t think I realized quite how stressful. We did try the one day at a time thing…..and it did work pretty good. You just can’t deal with something that you don’t know so why stress about it until you have too…..if you have too! Work was a bit of stress relief, eventhough there was stress there too. But it was different stress…..not life or death stress. After that day, those first few months when I didn’t really enjoy work anymore, I knew it was time to pack it in. I enjoyed the social aspect of it but I wasn’t looking forward to new changes that were coming down the road…..I was done with “adapting” to new things. I knew that would be stressful and not a good kind of stressful. I kind of lost a lot of my tolerance for anything, everything and a lot of people voicing my objections more often than not…..not a good thing sometimes. For many years….as I got older….I had this thing….I didn’t care what I said, or WHO I said it too. The fact that I’d been there forever was my only saving grace I think….and they knew that I WAS eventually going to retire. They sort of needed me, but I think deep down they were more than happy to see me go too. A very good decision to retire.
Then there was that first year of retirement…..it was like being on holidays those first few weeks and of course that summer was the summer of all summers!! A perfect time to have retired. After the first few months though the novelty was kind of wearing off. I needed something to do, but what? I didn’t know where to begin…..traveling of course was always on the table but I couldn’t do that all the time and who with? I was worried I’d have to start going places myself in tour groups…..that has not been the case. If anything I have enough “travel buddies” to go off a few times a year BUT who can afford to do that…..hmmmm, maybe I’ll start buying lottery tickets more often! I needed something to do beside all the things on my to do list. But I wasn’t sure just how to go about it. I wanted to start curling again…..but do you just appear at the rink? I wanted to do more bike riding, but who with? Not the bike club people…..no way I could come close to keeping up with them. Maybe start going to yoga….hmmm. Join the rec center….and do what though?
Then the second year….a bit better but still a little lost. Goodness knows I had stuff to keep my busy and some of it I enjoy(ed) but still in a bit of limbo….
I’ve gotten through the 3rd year and working on the 4th and somehow……I have no idea how….things just seem to be coming together. I did buy that bike and do get out on it, not as often as I’d like mostly because of the weather. I’ve started play baseball….even that surprised me! I’ve got a “part-time-sh” job, which is working out good….only a few hours here and there….and the hours of my choosing! Bev and I play cards way more than we ever did (and I owe her lots of money!!). I’ve been going to more plays than I had in many, many years….at least one a month. My social life is great…..good old friends and I’ve managed to meet a few new ones along the way. Is this my new normal? Have I found it? Or does it continue to evolve….I can’t imagine fitting anything else into my life right now. Summer will be busy but maybe I have to start thinking about what I’m going to do all winter…..now that said, one of the gals at baseball curls! So over the course of the season I’ll make sure I chat with her a bit more….maybe they’ll need spares….it’s a start.
I think having a good social network is important. But how do you make that happen? I think I was a little worried about that because not all my friends enjoy the same things I do. Even golfing…..there are 3 of us and my BIL but he’s not around so much anymore since they’ve moved way out of town. I’m lucky in that my social network is expanding…..not everyone is going to be your best friend, but they don’t have to be. This is how you find people that DO enjoy those same things. This just……I say just….but in reality it’s taken a few years, seems to have come about. I don’t know how or when it started….and I guess it doesn’t matter….just the fact that it is is a good thing!