Emotionally Draining Day

Doug’s Celebration of Life was yesterday.  It was standing room only…..so many people in his life that are going to miss him.  Family, friends, work colleagues, students…..just so many.

Brenda did speak….she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to do it but she did and she did a great job.  I’m glad she did.  For me that just seemed like such an important thing to do…..who could talk about him better than someone who has lived with him for 30 years….and it was sort of that point of acceptance of what has happened.  You’re talking about him in the past….

Today is a new day…..this is really when your “new normal(s)” start to kick in…..now that all the paperwork, all the planning, all that stuff that has kept you busy for the lasts 3 weeks is done….it’s just another day.  There is still lots to do of course but now there are no deadlines to meet, there is no urgency to do the rest…..clothes, cars, “his stuff”, etc…..that can all be done when the time is right for her.  She’s a strong person with tons of support….such a good thing at time like this.

For me the tears started as soon as I walked into that funeral home…..the same place that Ken’s CofL was at.  And the pictures of course……so hard to believe that you’re not going to see that person again, but good to know that they’d had a great life….very sad that it was cut so short.

I came home and just wanted to crawl back into bed.  I was so tired…..it really does drain you emotionally.  But that was not to be…..the kids came over with their Grinch Christmas trees that they’d made earlier.  We found some cutsie little Christmas pots to put them in and little strings of lights….. the trees are pretty cute.   Dinner and that was about all I could handle for the day.




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