disguised as babysitting!!
I’m not sure exactly why I’m so obsessed with trying to get my kids place cleaned up. It’s not a new thing that’s just happened……this is always how it’s been……even when they lived here, together, their room looked like a bomb had gone off in it. I just kept the door closed and once a week threw in a new set of sheets for them.
Back then I figured it was because that room wasn’t really meant for two people and even with the extra dresser we brought in for Kim, there just wasn’t anywhere for them to put stuff. One thing that was NOT allowed in there was food……I just can’t even imagine that!
Then they moved out, into her Dad’s basement suite. It was beautiful, huge, bright and in good shape…….for a week or two, then it became a disaster…..like the rest of that house….she grew up like that, so I guess it was “normal”. That said, neither of her sisters live like she does….so I keep thinking there is hope….a smidgen of it at least.
I sent her text yesterday to find out what time I had to get there and asked that she please clean the bathroom. I didn’t hear back, so we’ll see. I have clean that small, two piece bathroom every time I’ve gone over there, except the last time when I couldn’t find a toilet brush….anywhere!!
slowly getting my Google degree in psychology……today I have new plan of attack! They have soooooo much stuff, too much, way too much, so some of it has to go. That’s the tricky part. I’m going to take a box over and load some of the kitchen things up…..with her approval of course. The reason they don’t have to do their dishes everyday is because they have 4 frying pans, 5 cookie/baking sheets, at least 10+ casserole dishes, 3 pots the same size, 4 steamers, more mixing bowls (plastic, glass, stainless) than I’ve ever owned in my whole life, etc. etc. etc. Why I don’t know except that maybe all of the ones they had were in the sink and they needed one, so off they go and buy another one, and another….and another!
Because they have all this kitchen stuff, there is no room in their cupboards….none! So when they unload the dishwasher, or try to, there is no where to put anything. The same goes for sippy cup type things…..they start to accumulate on the counter because there is no room in the cupboard….then you don’t know which ones are clean and which ones are dirty.
What I read……I know, I know, don’t believe everything you read on the internet…..one of the first things to do is to make room for everything, get rid of all the unnecessary stuff. One pot of each size, one cookie/baking sheet etc. so that’s what I’m going to try today. I hope she’ll let me take some of it. I won’t get rid of it but I can store it here….in my poor garage, that is slowly filling up with other peoples stuff. But if it will help, it’s worth it.
I’m slowly getting a little bolder with what I’m doing when I go there. Again today, I’ll bring home a load or two of laundry…..and that’s another thing….way too many clothes! No need to do laundry everyday, even with 3 kids, because they each have 50 tee shirts, 30 pairs of pants….all overflowing out of drawers and covering their floors. After, if all goes well with the pots and pans thing, I’ll head up to the kids rooms and tackle their drawers and floors.
I know I’m not going to win this battle on my own, but I’m hoping that over the next week or so I can approach them on getting some help. I’ll just tell them that “WE” need some help (again, this from the MHA people and Google hoarding psychology 101). They know they do….they’ve said it themselves, so maybe, just maybe it’s getting to the point that they’ll get it.
As dumb as it sounds, I really like going over there and doing this…….I look forward to it each week. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to do this. When my granddaughter was first born I did the same thing, but I was MAD back then…..very angry….How could they bring this baby into a home like that?? Unfortunately I just got annoyed and knew I’d eventually say something I would regret, so my foray at cleaning didn’t last as long and Ken didn’t like going over there very often….he told me I was crazy for even trying. Apparently when you bring a new baby home they (the mother groups of whoever) tell you that you should not worry about housework. Making sure baby is looked after and you get a lot of rest is the number one priority. The problem with that was that housework never got done to begin with, so my DIL took this as approval to continue along the same path….or even get worse (now we’d added dirty diapers to the mess….).
I know it sounds like I blame her…..and I do for most of it…..but my son lives there too. I know he does try but is just overwhelmed. He says she’s working on it and it’ll just take time. I have to be careful what I say to him because I don’t want him to get mad and go home and get angry with her…..he has the patience of a saint. The collecting of “stuff” should have been dealt with 10 years ago….something should have been said then, but it was their business…….
Well now that I’ve got that off my chest…..I feel really motivated to get going….maybe I’ll even go a little earlier! I just have to watch what I say…..definitely bit my tongue and just take a deep breathe. I truly just want to scream and yell at them…..but I know that will not solve anything.
I have to take Buddy, the cat, in for his shot this morning before I go. He’s doing so much better, or seems to be, so I hope his lab tests show some improvement over last week. He’s skinny and scrawny looking but eating really good, going outside again and even playing with his catnip toys…maybe he’s gained a gram or two of his weight back.