Reflecting on Life!

It’s such a time for reflection isn’t it?

Bonnie, one of the cul de sac originals, is in hospital right now, very, very ill.  She had a stroke last week and it sounds like nothing can be done……whatever damage it is causing is progressing.  I think they are hoping that at some point, things will stabilize, with minimal damage/issues, and then can work with her from that point on.  BUT….as the days have gone by things seemed to be worsening.  Her family is all with her now.  Today apparently, she was talking again, so this is good.  We’re all hoping that this is a good sign.  She’s been an incredibly tough lady, surviving Hodgkins disease, breast and other cancers etc. over the years.  You always think that if you can beat that, you can beat anything!

Those 40th and 50th birthday parties have somehow, so quickly, turned into 60th, 65th and even 70th birthday parties!  When did all that happen?

You just live your life each day as it comes……kind of taking it all for granted that there will always be a tomorrow.  Everyone says, “make the best of it”, and of course I think we all try to do that but what does it really mean?  As I get older and older I think my “dreams” become less and less grandeous…..more realistic perhaps.  Different things become important, I think we become less materialistic….I want nice things BUT if whatever it is is functional and serving the purpose it was meant to, I’m not going to go out an buy a brand new shiny one of whatever!

Bonnie is a “collector”.  Christmas ornaments, silver, crystal…..she has a ton of it.  Two full china cabinets….and thats just the stuff you can see!  We thought she was funny….when you’ve got kids and lots of family also with kids….who really cared whether Christmas dinner was served on fancy china…did any of them appreciate the time and effort she put into setting the table, decorating the tree, putting up all those Halloween decorations?  Who knows…some maybe.  The important thing is that SHE got enjoyment out of doing it!  That’s what counts.  And that, as we get older is what we should be focused on……what WE want.

Of course you don’t want to turn into one of those old, curmudgeon type people that are rude, crude and feel they are entitled to say or do whatever because “they’ve paid their dues”.  I don’t like that kind of person very much.  You still have to be socially conscience of how you behave.

Thanksgiving is this weekend, so two dinners and lots of family, which I really enjoy…..even more so, since I’m not the one cooking either of them!  It’s not too often the whole family, on Ken’s side, gets together anymore…..just too many of us now, so this will be fun evening with all the big kids, little kids and a brand new baby too.  Dinner at my brothers will be great as usual, a much smaller bunch so more opportunity to just visit and enjoy my little family.

I try not to dwell on the past, because you can’t go there, but sometimes you can’t help but wish for those good old days when getting sick…or dying (that happened to old parents and aunts and uncles!) wasn’t even really on your radar.  And truly I don’t do this very often UNTIL something like this happens!  When Ken got sick….what a reality check that was….for all of us (friends and family) and then life goes back to normal, or depending on the situation, maybe a new normal, but it just goes on day to day.  Then something happens, now it seems to be more frequently, and you start to remember those old days of fun and wish for them again but it also makes you think about your own mortality too.  For me, it makes me think I need to be a better person….a little more compassion, more patience, more sympathetic or empathetic, more understanding.  But that is today……because I know I’ll slip back into my old ways and thoughts…..that’s just me…..at least UNTIL something else happens and then it starts all over again.

Ah sigh…………

L.

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