Are We….or Were We Like This?

Interesting article!

http://www.thefederalistpapers.org/us/woman-realizes-that-shes-been-accidentally-abusing-her-husband-this-whole-time

I must admit that I can see some of myself in this article.  I don’t think I was like this ALL the time….or at least I sure hope I wasn’t!

The shoe can also be on the other foot…..I know women whose husbands are like this too.   Do we just get so complacent in our relationships that we don’t realize what we sound like?  I do think that happens…..some men/women just tune it out so maybe no harm or damage is done.  Can we make someone, that was once happy and outgoing, become quiet, almost depressed and worst of all…..hide things to save some nasty comments?

It’s been 13 months since I lost Ken.  Of course, over the last year, I’ve reflected back a lot on our life.  I hadn’t thought about me being “abusive” like in this article.  But was I?  Ken wasn’t the type of guy to become complacent……so I don’t think so.  If I’d crossed that line I’m pretty sure he would have let me know.    I know I wouldn’t have complained about him doing laundry…..except that time he washed my angora sweater AND put it in the dryer.  Even that never stopped him from doing laundry.   I also know I never complained about any housework he did……whatever it might have been would have very likely been done much better than I would have done it……if I’d done it all!  I did complain about the crooked floor tile in the bathroom downstairs…….he never did fix that!

Years and years ago, when we used to have a real Christmas tree, I remember going to the tree farm and finding the perfect one.  He said it was too big!  Never can you have a tree too big!  It had to touch the ceiling…..that was always a must.  Well, we got it home and of course it was way too tall.  He had to cut another foot and half off, not all at once but probably in at least 2 or 3 trips up and down the stairs with that damn tree to make sure it was going to hit the ceiling.  He truly had the patience of a saint!

Some nagging is pretty normal…..I think it’s a natural built-in trait that a lot of women have.  Especially if we are stronger women, type A personalities, OCD or the worst…..control freaks!    I guess this all comes down to “don’t sweat the small stuff”.  Figure out what that “small stuff” is and put it into perspective!

L.

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