This is something I find very hard to do. And I don’t know why!!
It’s what I looked so forward to once retired. I guess there are a number of things really…..there is lots to do around here and I want it all done NOW…..and I THINK too much!
That said, it can’t all be done NOW and I know that but I get very antsy knowing some of the things need to be done.
I’m waiting for a landscaper to give me an estimate for putting in a patio under the deck…..hopefully he’ll come by and measure etc. today.
I have to do some mock up drawings to take to city hall to meet with the planning department to find out whether I’ll need to apply for a variance and whatever else is needed to add a second carport and then enclose the whole thing to make a double garage……this was in OUR retirement plan. It was going to be someplace for Ken to keep the old Mustang and to putter around in. AND it was going to replace the shed that is about to fall down and give us the extra storage space. This was going to be my number 1 reno project but in reality there are other things that I think are of more bang for my buck right now like getting the family room redone.
For that I also have to get an estimate for getting drywall put over the crappy wood paneling……my BIL said he’d help me but I’ll get the estimate first hoping it’s within my reno budget.
There are things that I enjoy doing that I haven’t done yet, like golfing! Not once…..I haven’t even talked to anyone about going.
I do go on my first mini bike ride tomorrow…..on a borrowed bike. I’ll see if this is something I really do want to do before I go out and invest money in a bike that could end up sitting. There are so many good trails to ride on near here and my friend’s bike club head out once or twice a week on their rides…..very social bunch and certainly good exercise.
Yesterday I didn’t know what to do with myself. I went out and reorganized my stacking stones because it drove me crazy that they weren’t straight. They’re still not perfect by any means, but better than they were. I’ll just leave it all for a month or two and see how they settle…..hopefully straightening out.
After I’d done that I had some paper stuff to do, which I started, then decided I didn’t want to do it. Then I sat outside and read for a while….didn’t want to do that either. Played a bit of solitaire…..then I was done with that. Back to reading for a bit, back to the paper for a bit….tidied up a bit here and there….back to reading for a bit…and that was pretty much my entire day.
I see couples out and about….I know they’re retired. That is what I miss more than anything…….when in one of these “I don’t know what to do next” moods…I think about Ken and I just taking off in the car and going somewhere…..anywhere. Maybe a drive, maybe out for lunch or off to visit someone. That is just something one person doesn’t do on their own…..why would I? I could go for a drive but it’s not the same thing….you can’t really drive and look and there’s no one with you to say “oh…look at that” too! I don’t like going for lunch by myself.
I shouldn’t be bored because I have a lot of things I could be doing. When I’m not doing those things, whatever they may be, I can’t just seem to sit and relax. Even reading a book isn’t working…..I can’t get into it. Maybe it’s just sinking in that I AM RETIRED! I don’t even think about work so I’m not missing that at all. I must be in some transition stage/phase. It’s not just getting used to being retired, it’s getting used to being retired on my own!
I was looking so forward to relaxing and enjoying doing nothing. And I guess I am really but I find it hard to just sit sometimes. The only time is first thing in the morning out on the deck…I love it….then I start to think, which is not a good thing.
I think about how retired life should have been, I think about all the things I want to do…fun things and reno project things, I think about things I could do for ME….a manicure, pedicure etc.
It’s definitely an adjustment and not a bad one! I know retired life would have been very different if Ken were here, but he’s not so I will get this sorted out eventually. I will learn to relax and just enjoy that relaxing time for what it is.
It’s another beautiful day and I’m going to take my second cup of coffee out on the deck and sit…….and RELAX.