“To Do” Today

Hair

Ashes

Suitcases

That is all I have on my list that MUST get done.  There is more of course, but if I get to that, it will be a bonus!

I would like to do a bit of closet reorganizing too.  My clothes are jammed into both, my closet and my dresser.  I have coats hanging on that back of doors!  There’s lots of room in Ken’s closet now so really need to take advantage of it and move some of my stuff.

BUT…..as silly as it might sound, it sort of seems weird doing that.  Both of them are MY closets now, as well as the armoire, and I do need them.  I’m sure I’ll get over this and do it of course.  It’s like doing something alone for the first time…..once it’s done, you’re over it, right?

I have a ton of laundry, mostly just ironing now, to do and it will be a treat to not have to jam all the nicely ironed things into over stuffed drawers and my closet.  They’ll actually look like they have been ironed when I go to wear them if they haven’t been all crammed in.

There are only 10 work days left in my work life!  Wow….that is still unbelievable to me.  With being so busy there, working on this project, I’ve kind of let my work life get the better of me the last few weeks.

Maybe it’s just a combo of that stress and a little bit of the “unknown” retirement stress.  Although I don’t think I’m terribly worried about that….starting with a holiday will make that easier….I think!

At work though I take everything I do very seriously and if it’s something with my name on it I really want it to be done right.  We have some roadblocks right now and I don’t like how things are being done and have been very vocal about it.  That is what stresses me out….I like things done the way I think they should be done….not some weird work around that will get us through “this”.  I hate that!  And truly, it just all ends up creating MORE work or inevitably comes back to bite you later.  Some how though we (for work I use that term rather loosely) never really learn from these exercises….ah sigh.

I had a “chat” with myself the other night when I got home at 9PM!  This is absolutely stupid.  Not the work, that needs to be done, but why do I care so much?  I’m ultimately not the one making the decisions….regardless of whether I agree with them or not, I just need to do what needs to be done.  If it’s half assed and that’s what THEY want and are happy with it, then so be it.  In my head, this doesn’t make sense….but then it doesn’t make sense to stress about it either….I WON’T be there to deal with anything when it comes back….NOT MY PROBLEM!

I felt much better yesterday because of my “chat”.  Sometimes you just have to sit yourself down and have a talk like that.  Whether it’s work or just your life in general.  Putting everything into perspective….sitting down and having the time to do that….really helps.  Most of the time, and for many years, I just did things because they needed to be done…..I didn’t have time to sit down and think about them, or whine about having to do whatever.  Home and work were both like that.

Stopping for a few minutes and taking a good look at everything is really helpful.  What do I have control over?  What can I change?  Does whatever it is, matter….really?

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I’ve had a few of these chats over the last year.  They’ve certainly helped me get through all this.  I remind myself that it is what it is…..and I can move on.   Think about what will be or can be.  You can’t fix or undo what was….it’s a waste of energy and brain cells trying to do that!

L.

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