My daughters Dr invited me to their appointment today. I’ve never been to one and have no idea what to expect. I’m pretty sure it’s not like what you see on TV!
She seems to feel that I’m an “enabler”. I have to agree with her on that point because I KNOW I am.
I was for Ken and sometimes that was a mistake, but I can’t help myself. I wanted to do everything for him but then left nothing for him to do…..it took me a while to figure out that I wasn’t really helping him….he needed stuff to do. Little things but still something that contributed to our day to day life. Maybe he was limited physically but he could still make phone calls, empty the dishwasher, water plants.
Just exactly what the Dr means though in this case, I don’t know. Am I an enabler to my daughter because I’m here for her? That’s about all I can do with depression. I don’t understand it and don’t pretend too, but if she needs me, I’m there.
I think it’s just a natural nurturing thing that mothers…and wives…have. I know enabling people is not a good thing all the time but it’s an automatic reaction that you have…..to want to fix everything for everyone, to make things better or the best they can be for everyone. And who more so than your own family??
It will be interesting I’m sure.
This Dr also does Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy This is a good thing but again I don’t understand what she “prescribes” sometimes. Like when my daughter is feeling anxious……she’s supposed to “experience it” and do some sort of self analysis as to why she’s feeling it. Or go for a long walk, which is a good thing, but she’s supposed to think about how she feels then too. The Dr doesn’t want her popping a pill as soon as she feels these anxiety attacks coming on…..this is a good thing….these pills are pretty powerful AND can be very addicting, so I certainly understand that don’t have any problem with it.
I know that if my daughter can be side tracked, which sometimes is hard to do, that anxiousnous passes and she feels better. Sunday afternoon was like that…..I suggested we go for lunch and shopping for a bit. Just getting out and doing something made a big difference whereas had she just sat there and “experienced it”, she would be crying and feeling horrid. I wouldn’t have been able to watch her like that all afternoon….so maybe I did it for me, not her! I’m obviously out of touch with all this but you do what works for you….or someone else.
I’m going with an open mind….sort of. I hope I don’t have to change too much because that get’s harder as you get older. Old habits and all that……
I guess I’ll find out today!