Today is my birthday…..the big “60”.
I wonder what Ken would have done? It’s a special birthday, one of those milestone ones that we celebrated, so I know there would have been a surprise of some sort. Maybe not a party, but definitely a present to remember the day forever and a dinner somewhere with friends and family.
I’m feeling sad this morning because this isn’t going to happen, can’t happen. Today, and I think our 40th wedding anniversary back in July, will be the hardest days to get through yet, more so than Christmas or even New Years Eve.
If it were any birthday, other than this one, it probably wouldn’t be so bad but because it’s a milestone one, the only ones that we really did anything special for, I know that he wouldn’t have let this one just go by, no matter how he felt.
Most of the time I don’t feel 60….I can’t actually believe I’m that old!! Where has all the time gone…..the years have just flown by! There are some days though that I feel like I’m 80, but luckily those don’t happen too often…..yet!
What will I do today? I don’t have any plans but I think I’ll make it a real ME day…..which means doing a lot of nothing…..or something I like. Maybe I’ll just sit and finish my book, maybe I’ll go and buy myself a special present…but what?? I’m definitely not making dinner….Chinese buffet is a tentative plan. The kids, big and little, and Bev, will be celebrating with me whatever we do….I love them all dearly but it’s just not the same without Ken……and wondering just what he would have done for this day….he loved making surprises happen and giving special gifts. What would it have been?
It doesn’t really matter does it, because it can’t happen. I need to wallow in my thoughts a bit this morning and then move on and make this a good day! I will…….