Things To Cross Off…..

……one of my lists today!

    1. Give other side of railing a second coat of white paint ( 1 hour)
    2. Put 4th coat of varathane on the noses (45 min)
    3. Throw in some laundry* (5 minutes)
    4. Go out to pick up: (2 – 3 hours**)
      1. Catfood and kitty litter
      2. Lottery tickets
      3. 3 Bottles of wine (gifts for guest speakers)
      4. 2 boxes of chocolates (also for guest speakers)
      5. Gift certificate for Chapters (also for guest speaker)
    5. Put laundry in dryer* ( 5 minutes)
    6. If it stops raining, take cushions off deck chairs (5 minutes)
    7. Empty Ken’s sock drawer (5 minutes)

*yes, even laundry gets listed….because I can CROSS it off…it’s an accomplishment!

**these tasks should take, at most, 2 hours but I am allowing for getting sidetracked in the liquor store and the book store……both are inevitable!

None of these things are a big deal, none are back breaking, none should take long….only #4 really HAS to be done and none of them are anything out of the ordinary for a Saturday. BUT…..if you aren’t really motivated to do any of them, they might each just as well be some monumental task… climbing Mt Everest!

This is my plan for today….that is, at least while I’m sitting here having my coffee. One phone call, from anyone to do something else, can quickly change all this around….and that’s OK, I wouldn’t mind at all, so I am going to allow for that to happen!

If I’ve listed these things here, for all the world to see, it makes me feel like I’m committed to actually doing them….that’s why I’m posting it. You are helping me! Unless, of course I get that phone call……

I think all this is the part of living alone that is the hardest. You only have you to be responsible for….if I don’t do it, no one else will. There is no one to delegate any of these jobs too. Ken would have done #1. We probably would have done #4 together….and of course we would have stopped somewhere for lunch too…..this stuff can be “fun” if there is someone else to do it with.

Living alone also doesn’t make you do any of these things in a timely manner…..I don’t have to worry about what order I do any of this in or when, or even if, I have lunch or dinner, I don’t have to be back home by a certain time….I can turn this 4 hours into 10 if I want and knowing me, probably will.

But that’s all OK too…..

I was used to having a routine and some structure to my life, that of a caregiver, but other than going to work every day, now I really don’t. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I really thought I needed it, and kind of do to some extent, if I’m ever to get stuff done, but there is no urgency now, no time limits. It takes time to get used to all this… takes time to realise all this! Keeping busy has somehow seemed the right thing to do for me. I still think it is….but now I’m wondering if I’m finally starting to slip into my “new normal”. Maybe it’s not really lack of motivation but more a sense of being a bit more laid back, maybe I’m finally relaxing ……..



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