I Wish I Was Stronger….

Physically that is…..probably psychologically too…..but it’s the body strength that I really lack in.

My plans got flipped around…so today we’re back on the stairs, yesterday was a clean up day. I looked at my “to do” list and decided that while the weather was still good I’d get some of the clean up outside done. I’m off to dump this morning first thing(ish) with another load.

I had planned on going yesterday once I got everything loaded onto the truck but there was just some stuff I couldn’t lift myself and needed help. This meant that I had to wait for someone to help me finish loading everything. The help, my son, couldn’t get here until it was too late to go to the dump yesterday. But it’s all loaded now and it’s easy enough to get off when I get there…..just open the tailgate and push….I CAN do that.

The old BBQ was the biggest obstacle. I got most of it apart so loaded the bits and pieces, but I just couldn’t get the bottom part, the heaviest, loaded myself. I tried all sorts of different angles to getting it on but just couldn’t get the “ummph” it needed to make it. I need more muscle!

I also cleaned all the rest of the junk out from under the deck….boxes of bits of wood from various projects, old broken tools, old paint cans….just stuff that accumulated under there. There is still definitely more work that can be done but I’ll save that for next year. Hopefully I’ll be able to get it cleaned up before summer…..and I can work on another of the projects on my list….paving stones for under there. It could be a really nice area for sitting on hot days….I could finally hang my hammock chair, that I bought in Mexico years ago, up under there….

There were extra boards from our deck down there….that composite board, which weigh a ton and are 20ft long….I got those moved off the workbench/planting table and up against the house but it was not easy. Besides being heavy they were awkward to move because, being that long, they were a little floppy too. I have to keep these just in case….the deck is supposed to withstand anything…but you never know when one of the boards might need to be replaced for whatever reason. Do I need 5 though? I don’t know…

I really miss having a partner to do these jobs…..just another thing that you kind of take for granted when they’re there. This ended up taking twice as long as it probably would have because there was just me…..and a weak and feeble me at that!

There were also some things that I didn’t know what to do with….such as the upside down V things, connected by a big hinge, that appear to be legs of some sort, like the legs on one side of a sawhorse, that can be set up to create a work surface or table, but there were only two….shouldn’t there be four? I put those in the shed, just because. Maybe you use them upside down, like this “V”, so that’s why there is only two??? Who knows? Ken, of course, would have known.

My biggest frustration though was just not being able to lift and move some of this stuff….if only I could have lifted another pound or two I could have had it done a lot sooner but having to take things apart (thank goodness for all the different screwdrivers….and the hacksaw!), or break things up and then move it in pieces small enough for me to get loaded, was just annoying.

Needless to say I took a couple of advil before I went to bed!

I definitely have to get myself in better shape……not that I’m going to have to do this type of thing that often, but this made me realize that over the last couple of years I’ve really let myself go. I was never in superduper shape, but I was reasonably fit. We used to walk a lot, especially on holidays. I was pretty good at going to the gym and, at work, we have a fitness program and gym too….I’d been known to participate in a few of the after work boot camps and circuit training programs….but that seems like a long time ago now. I’m not sure that, had I kept all this up, I would have been able to do all the stuff yesterday, but going forward, getting myself in better shape physically will be added to my list.

Losing your loved one teaches you a lot about yourself…..you really find your strengths and your weaknesses, both physically and mentally.

I’m hoping we get all the stair bits cut and fitted today….then only the staining/finishing will be left before they can be glued and nailed down….BIL will be away for 3 weeks after this week and I’m hoping I can get them all installed while he’s gone. We will see…..

So many things to do……..



2 thoughts on “I Wish I Was Stronger….

  1. You are one busy gal! Kudos for getting some of the stuff cleaned up from under the deck. That seems to be the space where the boogeyman lives – and wasps and spiders. Brave you!

    Over the last year with all the stress I’ve found my physical strength, too, has hit the skids. There’s no excuse now for not making time for ourselves to build some muscle mass and get more active. You’ve already taken great steps with all those great suppers (I’m taking a page from your book on that one), so now we just have to do the physical thing.


    • Busy is good…I’m kind of using bus-iness as a crutch, or maybe something to hide behind. But it works for the most part so I’ll keep at it….I don’t have to worry about running out of things to do for a loooong time, that’s for sure!

      Maybe we should have our own fitness challenge….I really need something, other that being a weakling when having to load things up for the dump, to get me motivated. I don’t even care about losing weight, I just want to be fit(ish…) and a bit more active. I think I have way more energy when I do exercise or something that gets me moving. I sleep better, I know that.

      I’m really quite proud of myself when it comes to my eating habits….I’m really getting back into cooking and learning how to pare down the amount of food that I make for myself. And I’ve been taking lunch to work….salads are pretty easy. I know eating better is really helping me feel better too….I still sluff off on breakfasts on the weekends and definitely notice a difference, so still need to work on that a bit more.

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