New Itinerary For My Trip

Not sure what is going on with WordPress but I am having some issues adding new posts or pictures…..I think it has something to do with my browser being out of date or not secure enough of something….. Hopefully my brother, the expert, can sort all this out for me.

There is a new itinerary now for my trip in October. No big changes except for a couple of overnights on land while on the cruise part….one of which sounds like it will have us staying here http://www.1000nightscamp.com/gallery.html. I’m pretty excited about it….it looks so exotic.

Otherwise all is still a go at this time but the whole situation in Israel and the Gaza is being monitored and they’ll advise if there are any changes as we get closer to the date. I can’t even begin to understand all the issues going on over there, no matter how much I read….so many articles are so biased one way or the other, it’s hard to know what is truth, what is propaganda etc.

Another nice day today, so coffee on the deck again. I love these mornings….just sitting around reading and doing not much of anything!

The plan for today is to do some housework, maybe clean out the bottom drawer of Ken’s dresser and load it into another of the old suitcases…just maybe though. Later my daughter and I are going to do another Modern Family Season 4 marathon. We’ll put together a fun dinner of some sort that we can eat in front of the TV and I can get my laundry and ironing caught up while we’re watching it too.

I also have to phone a place about getting the bullnose pieces stained for my stairs. This project just isn’t moving as fast as I would like it too. My BIL is going on holidays in September so I’m hoping that we can at least get it started, finished would be nice, but I’m not going to complain one way or the other as long as it gets done. Maybe I’ll set Christmas as the end date…..should be able to meet that!

I’m also looking into condo rentals for the trip to Hawaii in April. Have found the ones I want, now just need to get all the flight dates sorted out and then we’ll be good to go. I can’t seem to find any clear information for transporting ashes, so will contact First Memorial to see if they can provide some information.

I’m so torn about the trip….I love Hawaii and so did Ken. But this is not what I thought our next trip there would be all about! Maybe it was a stupid idea, I don’t know but I’m pretty sure that if he was going to have to stay somewhere that he wouldn’t have complained about it being there. I want to be able to have a good time on this trip….all the kids and grandkids together on holidays should be a lot of fun. I’m not going to leave all of him there….I have no idea yet what to do with the rest of the ashes but I’ll figure that out eventually.

I’m sure some people think I’m a bit crazy. I haven’t made any rash decisions, so that’s a good thing but so many simple things, every day type things, seem to become bigger deals than they should be, because I let them!! I need to go back to my caregiver days when I just did things because they needed doing….and not thinking about it, just doing it…that’s how it all got done. My thoughts are still so scattered really. One minute I think I’ve got it all together and then the next I’m rethinking everything. I really don’t like this at all…..I need plans, organization, structure in my life. But staying focused on trying to get all that is still really hard. Good days and bad days or even hours….it’s like I’m not in control, which I guess I’m not really. I know everyone says time is what I need and maybe that’s all it is but for now it’s still such a rollercoaster.

My biggest fear is that people feel sorry for me! I don’t want that….perhaps empathy but definitely not pity. I would hate to be pitied and I certainly hope I don’t come across that way……I don’t think I do.

10262114_747783718585858_5768425550163918665_n[1]

This is so true….it is MY journey!

L.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “New Itinerary For My Trip

  1. Sounds pretty well thought out to me. You got the where and are working on the how. Now it’s just a matter of fine tuning the details. I don’t think you’re a bit crazy. Before my mom passed away, she had told dad, she wanted her ashes put in the Destin Pass, in Destin Florida. No biggie, we live 50 miles from there. One day in February, a little over a year after mom had passed, dad called me up and asked me to go with him. It was cold and windy. I wanted to say, let’s wait another month and it will be nicer weather. However, I knew it took him a long time to get to the point he could let go of those ashes. And if today was the day, so be it! We took the drive, then walked about 3/4 of a mile on the beach part of the pass. When we got to the jetties, ( huge rocks lining the pass to prevent erosion ) I thought he was gonna try to go the extra 1/4 mile climbing them to the actual opening of the
    Pass. Thankfully, he realized that was not a good idea. He asked me to say a few words. I am a pastor. After I prayed and said a few things about mom, he reared back, the best a completely out of shape 74 year old could, and heaved that little box, that was designed to dissolve quickly in the water, out into the water a full 10 yards! The wind was blowing and the current brought it right back to the shore, five feet away from him. I quickly picked up the box, that was dissolving in my hands, and heaved it about 30 yards out, far enough it didn’t get carried in the direction of the beach. It actually got into the current, and was floating in instead of out. Oh well, he was satisfied. We walked along with his eyes glued to the dissolving box for about ten minutes. He wanted to see it to the very end. He stopped, we cried for a minute, then headed to the car.
    The reason I said all of this, is to say, sometimes, what seems like spur of the moment, is perfect timing!
    Have fun on your trip, enjoy what time you have left. Remember the good times and remember to live and take a fresh breathe, every day!
    Time is now! Sure in time healing happens. Just don’t sit around asking yourself, is it time yet? My dad has been so depressed for almost four years. I told him, my mother, did not fight that cancer 20 years so he could fall apart when she passed. She fought for them to have every minute they could together. I know, she would yell at him if she saw how he is acting now. He is getting better. He just finally is living in an apartment by himself. He had allowed my sister, her grown children and their kids to move in. Geeze, how could anyone heal with all that commotion! Yeah, I get the being alone. Now he is actually getting out more often and having a life. Can he do better? We all can! I pray you accomplish all the goals you have set, then set some more goals, and live your life to the absolute fullest! I tell me wife often, I want you to be happy. I don’t want you to be lonely. I love her with all of my heart. After 38 years, she is also my best friend. Now she has added caregiver. When I think about it, she has given me care all of those 38 years. Now, I am just a little more needy. She still bosses me around, but I know it is because she wants me around as long as possible.
    Enjoy your life! Thanks for your blog. Your friend and new cheerleader, Joe!

    • Hi Joe…so true “time is now”. I’m glad your Dad is finally getting out and about….4 years is a long time. I think that is what worries me….right now I find it hard to see beyond the next week, let alone the next year! That is why I have made plans….I need something to look forward too…and keeping busy, although sometimes I have to give myself that extra push to do it, is what I’m so trying to do so I can avoid that 4 years, or however long, of doing nothing….I know Ken would NOT have wanted that.

      I’m glad your wife bosses you around…lol…I know sometimes Ken just needed that little bit of a push to get him going and at the end of the day, more often than not, he would thank me. I hope you have many more great years together…..if your wife has anything to say about it I know you will!

      Linda.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s