Eventhough it might sound like I’m sad all the time….I’m not really.
There are times throughout the day that I don’t even think about IT. I am busy at work or out with friends. I have many good times. I laugh and, like my trip, I make plans, fun plans….we have to think ahead! That’s the only direction we should be going……you really can’t go backwards.
But there are also many times a day that I do think about IT and everything else to do with the last few years. So many things can trigger those thoughts……
….seeing couples doing stuff together is one which is really difficult sometimes.
….I’ll see a nice car, new or an old restored one, and I still actually think to myself….”I’ll have to tell Ken about it”!
….finding the odd piece of paper on my desk or in a drawer at work with a note about an appointment or something.
….someone mentions his Oncologist name….
….coming home and finding a piece of mail addressed to him.
….the odd phone call for him, usually from a car dealership that he visited at one time or another.
….and like today, running into someone that I haven’t seen for years…and years, asking about him! That’s a tough one for me and obviously for them too!
….or the worst yet….a survey from First Memorial asking how they did!! What the hell??
A happy moment can change to a sad one in a second….and it can take a while to snap out of it…..some days depending on how I’m feeling, it can take a long time!
The other day I was looking for a nice journal for my trip. I have always kept trip journals….I love doing that. They aren’t anything fancy but I try and find one that has a nice cover with a theme that pertains to our trip. I didn’t really see any that I liked. It’s still a few months away so I thought I’d just keep looking….then I spotted one, in the bargain bin….it was there for a reason! It’s kind of ugly…, no, it’s really pretty ugly, quite tacky actually…purple snake skin or something……but it was the cover that caught my eye…in gold lettering, it says…. SMILE EVERYDAY.
I grabbed it! I think this will become my motto or mantra or whatever….SMILE EVERYDAY….there is definitely something every day that I can smile about….sometimes I just need a reminder…..