I think I need to think about getting rid of things.

I want to keep everything! I don’t want to get rid of HIS stuff.   That means he’s really gone.   It just seems so final. 

But what do I need all that stuff for.  I can’t wear the clothes or shoes……or the coats……he  loved coats and jackets….each with at least one or two pens in the pockets….he never missed the opportunity to pick up a free pen! 

I don’t need this stuff to remind me of him…..I have lots of memories.  I have lots of pictures of Ken.  I don’t need his stuff though. 

When should I get rid of it?  How long after?   Is it too soon, am I rushing.   It’s been a month.   Do I think this will make the grief go away?

Who do I give it too?  The homeless people would be good, of course or needy folks.   He had some really nice clothes and lots of them…especially those coats and jackets.   My daughter-in-law will know….she’s a social worker and deals with people that need this kind of stuff.

I do need to keep some things, of course……his wedding ring, perhaps his watch.  What will the kids want….will they want anything?   Do they need anything?   Will his brothers want any of his stuff….shoes maybe.   He had some almost brand new loafers and some really good runners….maybe the brothers would want them, if they fit.   The new slippers he got for Christmas and never wore because the old ones were already “broken in”.

What about his tux??  That tux….he looked sooooo good in that.   Who would want that or need it?   Certainly not a homeless or needy person.   Maybe I should keep it……he really did look good in it…….he really did!  He had some really nice sports jackets too….those can always used by anyone though.

I have to keep all the tools, I might need those…..I guess I’ll have to learn how to use some of them then won’t I.  Drills I can deal with….tablesaws, I’m not so sure….but they have weekend classes at Home Depot, maybe I’ll go to one if it comes up.   Craig can always use them and Linds loves tools….but where will they keep them…here I guess, in Ken’s shed. 

What do you do with the socks and underwear?  Do you give those away like the rest of his stuff or do you just throw them away?   Throwing away stuff doesn’t seem right.   But who needs or wants used underwear?

All that stuff in his wallet….I went through it once already but put everything back.  I know what to do with credit and bank cards….and all that, but what about all those receipts he collected…..   What about his birth certificate?   Social insurance card?  What about all those phone numbers written on slips of paper….who is Steve, who is Frank, who is X and X and X…..I know who Sue at Sun Life was…can throw that one away now for sure.   But Steve and Frank and all the rest….was one of them the guy I’ll need to call to clean the gutters?   Maybe I needed to call these people and tell them about him…..oh god.   His passport….keep it I guess and file away with our old ones?

Grandkids are too little to want anything….what would they want anyway?  We’ll keep Grandpa’s cane…..he’d hook onto their legs or arms and pull them into him for a kiss or hug…..sometimes they’d hold on to the hook end and he’d drag them down the hall and through the living room…..  They loved that and would laugh and laugh….” Do it again Grandpa, do it again”…  Where should I keep the cane?  The brand new walker….will donate that to one of the care homes, I guess.

Decisions, decisions…..

Maybe I won’t do this now…….tomorrow is another day isn’t it.





2 thoughts on “His STUFF

  1. Take all the time you need to go through Ken’s things. The decision on what to do with each item will come in time and when you’re ready.

    Linda, this is a time where you need to move to your own rhythm of grief. Let how you feel each day (heck, each moment!) guide your steps. Be patient with yourself.

    • Hi Bonny, you’re so right! I will take my time…..it’s not like I have to get rid of everything at the same time do I. Bit by bit, otherwise this could really be quite overwhelming I think. Patient, I shall be!

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